If these habits are an attempt to self-soothe, help your child find other ways to calm his nervous system. If your child picks his nose, pass him a tissue to use in private and offer to apply nasal spray to moisten the area. If your daughter knots her hair, encourage her to brush it out with a special brush, purchased for just those times. If your child is chewing on his shirt collar, suggest chewing gum for limited periods of time instead. Reading the Bible every day, brushing your teeth after meals, making your bed when you get up, are all examples of good habits. Some habits can be eliminated by simply replacing the habit with a behavior that is more socially acceptable. If your son chews his shirt collars, tell him that if his collars stay dry for 7 days, you will buy him a t-shirt of his favorite sports team. Place a special jar of polish on her nightstand as a reminder and incentive. If your daughter tends to bite her nails in bed at night, tell her that you will only put nail polish on her nails after they are long enough to cut. However, skill development and habits are qualitatively different from, let’s say, hitting your little sister. This is because I feel that an internal locus of control (where you do things because you are internally motivated to do so) rather than an external locus of control (where you only do things because of the rewards you will get – either emotionally or tangibly) is preferable. Normally, I do not promote the use of “bribes” when working with children. Emphasize that you are both on the same team – a team whose goal it is to beat the habit. Problem solve with your child about ways to manage it. Identify the behavior and the potential problems (physical or social) that it can cause. During a time when the child is not exhibiting the behavior, tell your child that you have noticed a new habit. While you may think that providing consequences for the behavior will help eliminate it, you may be exacerbating the problem. ![]() Don’t focus on the habitįocusing negative attention on the bad habit will actually make it worse. Please note: If your child’s “nervous habit” is part of a larger picture of anxiety that is interfering with everyday functioning or if your child struggles with separation anxiety, phobias or generalized anxiety, seek out help from a trusted counselor or your child’s pediatrician. ![]() Try to anticipate the triggers for the habit and provide calming alternatives. Talk to your child about any underlying anxieties or fears that he may have. Encourage your child to engage in such activities a few times a day. Help your child identify the things that are interesting and/or relaxing to him. Here are some tips: The habit may be out of boredom or an attempt at self-soothing ![]() If you notice any of these habits forming in your children, there are some things you can do to minimize, redirect, or eliminate them. These can include: biting fingernails, picking noses, chewing sleeves or collars, picking scabs, sucking thumbs or fingers, chewing on the end of ponytails, chewing pencils, knotting hair, etc. Children can develop a bad habit as well. ![]() Any adult who has struggled with one knows how true this is.
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